


Denial Isn't a River in Egypt

by aluminum_seahorse



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: And He Knows It, Comedy, M/M, Romance, Smut, but with petulance x10, contrary to the title this is absolutely not a slowburn, cour 2 spoilers, getting unknowingly swept off his feet like a scatterbrained shoujo love interest, julius is polite, people are groaning in the background, the universe is conspiring against subaru, tried to write porn w/o plot and failed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:33:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28729707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aluminum_seahorse/pseuds/aluminum_seahorse
Summary: Subaru’s heart would sometimes beat a little funny in his presence and his palms would get sweaty, which was very annoying if he was trying to concentrate on something. It even reached the point where that would sometimes happen when Julius wasn’t around. It was just like the asshole to pester him miles away where they couldn’t even interact.Ram, of all people, broke one day and snapped that he had a crush on Julius like a clueless idiot, and the scary part was that she didn’t even bother coming up with a clever snark.(completely sfw until chapter 4)
Relationships: Beatrice & Natsuki Subaru, Julius Juukulius | Julius Euclius/Natsuki Subaru
Comments: 64
Kudos: 170





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I literally just wanted to write porn, but somehow I ended up with 4k words, one chaste kiss, and many stupid.
> 
> So here's your warning now. this fic's probably going to turn explicit soon, but I'll warn you beforehand.

_What the hell? What the hell?_

That was the mantra Subaru chanted in his head whenever he felt a blush threaten to cover his face, and every time he mentally cursed at the asshole at the center. 

It all began a week after what he’d half-jokingly dubbed the “Roswaal Hell Plan” at Sanctuary. 

First, an Anastasia Camp carriage pulled up one day and of course, Julius was sitting inside. Sending in the royal candidate’s personal knight just for camp relations seemed a bit overkill until the man himself stated that he’d volunteered for the task. 

A small conference was called and dismissed within the day. It was a quick affair, though believing the Anastasia Camp’s involvement with them was over proved to be wishful thinking. Much to Subaru’s annoyance, it was a continuous process that required fairly common meetups, and most involved Julius himself. 

In fact, it was during one of these that the first big warning sign appeared.

At this point, their meetings were formal mostly in name and had happened a fair few times already. They were now sitting at a rather small local restaurant to discuss potential trade agreements.

Subaru was having a short chat at the table with him, tossing curt words at the knight that became especially snappy when he found out about his divine blessing of spirit gathering. Or gathering spirits. Whatever. The point was, it drew Beako toward that prissy jerk and that couldn’t stand, so he tried using himself as a meat shield between her and Julius.

The distance helped a little. However, it came at the expense of sitting uncomfortably close to the purple-haired knight.

“I do hope that Beatrice isn’t too bothered by my presence,” commented Julius during a lull in the main conversation. “Seeing as she’s a great spirit, it seems to tug at her heartstrings minimally.”

“Ack! don’t say it like that, you spirit gigolo!” griped Subaru alongside Beako’s enthusiastic dissent. The spirit herself seemed quite a bit disgruntled judging by her cutesy pout, but was a bit more verbally reserved. When Julius occasionally directed a question her way, she sometimes snubbed him with a huff.

Still, Julius had something to refute. “Spirit gigolo? That is a term I’ve heard ascribed to Reinhard more I, much to his dismay. I am quite satisfied with the quasi spirits at my side.”

A few of his contract spirits flitted into view to voice their delight. Subaru muttered, “If that’s the game you wanna play, then stop prodding at Beako.”

“Beatrice is a great spirit, a level these maidens greatly aspire to reach. There shouldn’t be any issue with my reasoning,” he deftly responded.

“W-well,” she stuttered, surprised by the indirect compliment. “That is a fair point, I suppose. ”

In real time, he watched his own contract spirit get won over by smooth talk. Traitor.

As Beatrice conversed with the quasi spirits, Subaru took the opportunity to shovel down some more food while Emilia, Otto, and Julius resumed chatting about more official stuff. The restaurant they were in had discovered a week or two ago and he never stopped coming back. They had rice. _Rice!_ He’d practically cried with joy when he saw it on a waiter’s plate and immediately asked what it was, then ordered it on the spot. 

They called it Wrice, though, which was sacrilege but he’d let it slide since the waiter promised not to gossip about his abnormally vocal response.

Subaru soon found himself staring sadly at his emptied plate. Quickly, a laugh interrupted his brooding.

“Suba-” Emilia attempted to say in a fit of giggles. “S-subaru, your face!”

Conjuring a mirror of ice (coolest casual use of insane magic skill), she let it hover a short distance from his face. 

Ew. It wasn’t too bad, but it would definitely catch a lot of people’s attention if he were to walk down the street as is. Snatching the nearest napkin, he cleaned his face. 

Strangely, it only made Emilia giggle harder, and now Otto looked like he was holding back a snort. He decided to look back into the mirror for a better inspection and found a clump of rice grains somehow stuck right in the middle of his forehead.

Being the self-assigned clown he was, he dramatically clenched his fist. “Oh! My napkin’s already dirty, so who’ll lovingly wipe it off for me?” Subaru asked, sending glances Emilia’s way with mock furtiveness.

Uncomprehendingly, Subaru watched as Julius raised an arm, plucked it off, ate it, and smiled. Most at the table let out a silent gasp.

“Hm? Wouldn’t it be a waste to just clean it?” He said to an open-mouthed Subaru. Subaru, for the matter, tuned the rest of the conversation out until the wage slave of the Emilia camp shook his shoulders outside the establishment, snapping him out of it.

Otto let out a sigh of relief, then asked, “Natsuki, have you done anything to attract Julius’s attention like that?”

“Gesundheit,” he said.

Otto’s brows scrunched. “What?”

Thankfully, Emilia carried the conversation on. “That was really sweet of him. I’ve read about that in a book Julius lended me once.” 

“Emilia, no,” groaned Subaru. “My poor innocence will be dashed if that bastard comes within a six foot radius of me.”

“Eh, really? Don’t worry, Subaru! I’ll protect your innocence if you want!” declared Emilia.

“You’re that last person I want saying that!” he shouted fruitlessly into the wind.

From that day on, Subaru seemed to encounter the most cliche situations in Julius’s presence. The man had saved him from being hit by a car (carriage) when he was distracted on the street. Subaru accidentally ran into him multiple times when turning the corner, once when he was late. He even had a piece of toast in his mouth, though, so that was actually on him. He’d designated them tropes 5, 21a, 21b, and 21c respectively, separating the last three into separate branches under the main category.

They were mostly ordered chronologically by occurrence. He didn’t really know how to feel about that.

“My life was already a joke, but I never thought it would stoop to the level of a hundred typical shoujo manga tropes,” Subaru had once muttered when they once both reached for the same book. Trope number 36.

It was then that he’d begun to suspect that the most terribly uncreative manga in his old world had materialized in Julius’s hands and he took the book’s teachings to heart without intending.

Most of the mansion knew about it too. He’d complain about the latest happening at will, and soon everyone there at least partially knew about it. Most of all, Betty. She got the largest earful of it and he felt a little guilty about abusing his Betty time privileges, but she usually seemed interested so it was probably okay.

“Betty will happily listen to your troubles, I suppose,” rang her voice every time he began a spiel. He really didn’t deserve her.

Unfortunately, all of this accumulated into an odd hyperawareness whenever Julius was around, and occasionally, he’d find himself overanalyzing everything from the way light shined on his honey-gold eyes to rare, quietly aborted gestures that nobody would notice if they hadn’t spent much time around him. 

Eventually, Subaru’s heart would sometimes beat a little funny in his presence and his palms would get sweaty, which was very annoying if he was trying to concentrate on something. It even reached the point where that would sometimes happen when Julius wasn’t around. It was just like the asshole to pester him miles away where they couldn’t even interact.

Ram, of all people, broke one day and snapped that he had a crush on Julius like a clueless idiot, and the scary part was that she didn’t even bother coming up with a clever snark.

  
There was no way that would happen, though. So of course, he simply resumed acting as normal. Even if Julius fell in love with him, there’s no way Subaru would fall for _him,_ no way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to bed


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still mostly comedy, but with a bit more emotion this time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually pretty happy with how this turned out

Things really started to pick up when a letter to the Emilia camp requested a representative to be present at a classy party, and somehow, literally everyone else high ranking enough that could’ve gone was busy at the time listed.

Subaru wanted to bang his head on the wall when he spotted Julius in the distance. Glass of champagne in hand and out of his knight uniform, he still stuck to the same color combination of red, white, and black, with a yellow flower brooch tucked into the suit lapel for good measure.

“Ha, were you so scared to wear something other than your knight outfit that you had this made?” Subaru remarked, pointing at him as he approached.

Julius took it in stride with a practiced ease. “You should refrain from saying that when you yourself are wearing that,” he counterattacked, staring at Subaru’s black and orange suit.

“What? Were you expecting me to show up in my old butler outfit? This just got pressed onto me right after they took my measurements,” he grumbled. He was fully aware of his appearance, but the jab effortlessly fell out before he could stop it.

Beatrice had wandered off, attracted by the sight of a nearby cookie platter, so he had to talk with him alone for a bit. They tossed around their usual talk until a woman, draped in a heavily frilled dress stepped up to them.

“Nah,” Subaru was saying. “The actual reason I don’t drink was because i got a sip of some as a kid and it felt like swallowing hand sanit-”

“Hello, might you possibly be the knight Natsuki Subaru?” she spoke with a feminine grace. “I heard you were attending this event and simply  _ had  _ to see.”

Subaru nodded, sheepishly scratching his cheek. “Yes, that’s me. I didn’t expect to meet anyone who knew me here other than the party’s organizers.”

“That’s unduly modest coming from a person who’d slain both the White Whale and the Sin Archbishop of Sloth within a week,” she responded with wide eyes, tilting her head.

“I had a lot of help,” Subaru explained. “Actually, I hate to admit it but this guy over here probably should take more credit for Petelguese’s defeat. I just delivered the final blow, and even then I had help from one of his spirits.”

Julius cut in. “Subaru, you’re selling yourself short. The success of both operations was directly linked with your involvement.”

The compliment was probably a mandatory thing for a proper chivalrous knight like him to say, so Subaru simply shrugged it off, even in the face of Julius’s objection.

A small realization hit Subaru. “Oh, I never asked for your name. That was pretty rude of me.” 

“It’s fine. I’m Rina Ainsley,” she said with a curtsey. “Would you care for a dance? That is actually what I approached you for.”

“A dance?” Subaru parroted in bewilderment. “I’d probably step on your feet. I’m sorry, but I don’t know anything about dancing.”

Rina held a fan up to her smiling mouth. “Not a problem whatsoever, though I’m surprised a knight of your standing never learned how to.”

Taking in the most basic dances went smoothly. She was actually a fairly good teacher, though she leaned in too close for comfort at times even when he mentioned his discomfort. Usually, she’d exclaim that she was sorry and drew back, only to do it once more. It happened three times in the past few hours. It was probably just a bad habit of hers, in all likelihood.

“You’re quite the swift learner,” Rina commented. “Still, could we pause this and take a light stroll through the halls? Alone, obviously.”

Trope 2b. Someone trying to swipe away another person’s love interest. This time, the cliche hit Julius. 

Haha! Take that!

“Sure, why not? This party’s not going to last all night,” agreed Subaru.

That was how he found himself pressed against the wall in an isolated area by a woman half a head shorter than him. He wasn’t quite pinned down, but he could feel her hold on pretty tightly, his own grip strength be damned. Was every cute girl in this world secretly a bodybuilder?

“H..hey could you let go of my wrist?” Subaru requested, a bead of sweat forming on his forehead.

Much to his annoyance, she had the gall to look surprised. “What are you talking about? You came with me for a ‘light stroll through the hall,’ right?”

“I thought you meant that literally,” he responded dumbly.

“It was only a coincidence that the meaning sounded literal this time, but I guess it’s cute that you didn’t know and still followed me,” Rina asserted. “Regardless, the connotations should have been apparent. You’ve already agreed.”

Trope 2a. Someone trying to swipe away another person’s love interest. Rude variant. Actually, this went far beyond just rude.

“One question, though. Aren’t you afraid I might fight back now or something?” Subaru prodded casually.

She shook her head. “I noticed it while we were dancing. Your gate feels barely functional. I’m assuming your role isn’t of a combatant despite the rumors, and I’m starting to suspect you were more of a savant tactician that’s terrible with social cues.”

Ok. That was a little rude. Subaru began to voice his displeasure out loud before-

“You should keep your disgusting hands off my contractor, I suppose,” echoed a little girl’s voice.

Rina momentarily tightened her grip in shock, making Subaru wince slightly. He turned to see Beatrice glaring at the woman in sheer disdain.

“Contractor?” she muttered, letting go and backing away. “That means you’re-”

“Me and Beatrice are a package deal and I don’t think she likes you very much. Sorry about that,” he joked, shaking her off. She then turned tail and ran away. The situation probably would’ve been far scarier had he not known Beatrice was nearby, and he gave her a relieved grin for the help.

Betty seemed quite irritated. “I leave for a while and this happens to you? Betty’s contractor is hopeless, I suppose,” she declared, gluing herself to Subaru’s side for the duration of the walk back to the main party room.

When they returned, Julius spun around when one of quasi spirits poked his shoulder, and he made his way toward the duo. “You’re back rather soon. Where did Miss Rina go?”

“Oh, she had something she had to do and left. I just saw her off,” Subaru replied breezily.  _ “I’m glad she’s gone,” _ he didn’t say.

Beatrice blinked at him strangely. Unfortunately, Julius noticed her unusual reaction but didn’t prod, instead opting to say, “That is how it is at times. I’m assuming it was an unexpected departure for all involved?”

Nodding, he said, “Yep! I still don’t know how to do the Picaru Step because of that.”

“Picari Step, you mean?” corrected Julius. “Why not let me teach you?”

An instant, flat “No.” 

Julius sighed. “Alright then, what will you do?”

“Heh.” Beatrice cut into the conversation. “I’ve read about this. Subaru’s Betty can do it, in fact.”

… She couldn’t. As it turns out, vaguely memorizing the instructions isn’t a one to one translation into teaching ability, nor skill.

Subaru sighed. “Beako, if you were heavier, the bumps on my toes would have bumps.”

“Be quiet, I suppose,” she grumbled.

Of course, he never really had the heart to be annoyed at her. It must’ve been funny to see a great spirit stumble around with a boy twice as tall as she was, almost like a little sister trying to teach her brother how to dance when she didn’t know how to either.

Julius let out a chuckle. “Do you want my help now?”

“Fine, I suppose,” Subaru groaned, letting his head roll back in a show of petulance.

“It does seem as though she taught you something, even if it was unintentional,” he bantered, stepping out onto the dance floor and taking Subaru’s hand. Now, that would’ve been bad enough on its own. Wrapping an arm around Subaru’s waist was a whole other ballpark and he jolted at the sudden touch. 

Julius’s eyes widened in mild concern. “Is that uncomfortable?” he asked. “We can stop if you wish.”

“Keep going. It’s not as uncomfortable as your existence,” came the half-assed retort. With an amused huff, Julius continued to show Subaru the steps. 

It was a particularly active dance, and he soon found himself being guided all around the floor. Hop, stop there, spin, don’t step on Julius’s shoes, and spin. All this exercise was making his heart rate shoot up an abnormal amount, even with the parkour training he was doing in his spare time. It was embarrassing, really.

The dance was nearing the home stretch, and Subaru could feel them picking up speed. All of a sudden, he was pulled into quick spin, then felt himself falling backwards. He would’ve scrambled to grab onto something as a gut reflex if Julius’s arm didn’t halt his fall within the second.

However, that wasn’t the main issue here. Julius’s face was now close enough that Subaru could feel the man’s breath on his own. At this unexpected closeness, he slowly turned beet red as he processed his position. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but only a faint “huh?” escaped.

A ringing noise filled the room, interrupting what definitely would’ve become a painfully awkward moment. 

“It has been a delight hosting this gathering for you all,” someone spoke with a magnified voice.

The two wordlessly turned their heads to the miniature stage. A woman with long, dark red hair stood at the center with what seemed to be a microphone-like metia. “Sadly, as much as I am loath to part with all of you, it is time for everyone to return to their homes or wherever you will happen to sleep tonight. I bid you all a good evening.”

The two broke apart at the announcement’s end, and following the flow of the crowd, they headed for the exit alongside a slightly disgruntled Beatrice.

On the way down, Subaru had time for some contemplation. Why was he feeling butterflies in his stomach? Was he nervous? No, it was probably the surprise. Just the surprise. That made sense. He calmed down as he considered the last explanation. 

“I guess my rational thoughts always win in the end,” he said to himself with a self-satisfied expression, planting a fist into his palm.

Betty coughed. When he looked at her, she merely said, “It’s nothing, I suppose.”

Very soon, they stopped at the main door.

It was raining. Neither Beako nor Subaru had an umbrella. Julius quickly noticed the displeased look on both of their faces and asked, “Do you two have a carriage?”

“Nah, we just walked since the inn we’re staying at was pretty close. Starting to regret that now,” Subaru uttered.

Julius sighed as he turned to the two. “Kua.” 

“Why’d you call out one of your spirits?” Subaru questioned, watching a blue light appear, zipping around in apparent excitement.

Beatrice stared out into the downpour as she answered, “Kua is a water spirit, in fact. I believe she was summoned in order to keep us dry.”

“As expected of a great spirit,” Julius said, watching as she preened under the praise. “Yes, I’ll be accompanying you back, it seems.”

Trope 41, it’s raining and you don’t have an umbrella, so you’re offered to be walked home.

“I’d rather not see more of your ugly mug, you stupid pretty boy,” griped Subaru.

Julius stifled a laugh with his hand. “Oh, so you think I’m pretty?”

“Shut it,” Subaru exclaimed. “I’d just run if it were only me, but I’d be a jerk if I make Beako get soaked too.” 

Betty stared at Subaru expectantly, and he picked her up and adjusted the spirit into a sitting position in his arms. It was a natural chain of actions that suggested that the two were used to this sort of happening.

Off they went with Kua flitting about. Subaru didn’t know what the little spirit was doing, but there almost looked like a protective bubble where no rain fell, though it didn’t stop some of the puddles from splashing onto his feet. He shivered when a particularly large one soaked his left shoe.

“Ugh, that was a smart move. I’m glad you’re up here and not walking with that poofy dress of yours,” he stated.

“Betty’s Subaru knows better than most by this point, I suppose.” agreed Beatrice.

“Yeah, but I should probably adjust my hold,” he noted. “You’re starting to slip out of place.”

A small, quick toss saw Beatrice sitting more snugly against his chest. Julius watched on, smiling at the exchange, but then a flicker of recognition crossed his eyes.

His face fell. “Subaru, your wrist is bruised.”

“Hm? What are you talking about?” he asked, genuinely confused until his gaze located what Julius was talking about. His sleeve must have shifted up from the prior motion. “Ah, that. It’ll be fine.”

Julius stared in disapproval. “Are you sure? Doesn’t it hurt?”

Subaru waved off the concern. “It does ache a bit, but it’s too minor to need medical attention or anything.”

“... Put Betty down, I suppose,” she ordered.

“But your feet’ll get wet!” insisted Subaru, but due to her trademark stubborn glare, he quickly relented.

Taking his hand, Beatrice got a better view of blotchy redness surrounding his wrist and she narrowed her eyes. “This is not minor, in fact.”

He stood awkwardly on the side of the street as she began healing the bruise. It was clear to Subaru that despite her composed demeanor, she was likely plotting revenge on the off chance that they meet again. 

After the glow died down, they started walking again. Beatrice refused to be picked up again and Julius kept sneaking in concerned glances, and while Subaru felt a little bad about worrying them, that was just how it all turned out.

The rain didn’t slow their travel down by much. They arrived in front of the inn within minutes.

“Thanks for helping out, Kua,” said Subaru, raising a finger to the spirit. It gave him a light tap of appreciation and returned back to Julius’s side, and he stepped toward Subaru.

“Since you have reached your destination, it is time for me to return to my lady’s capitol manor,” he said with a slight bow, making sure to stay within the dry spot created by the building’s overhang. “But, before my inevitable departure, may I offer a goodbye kiss?”

Subaru snorted. Man, Julius was really taking the chivalrous knight act pretty far. “Ha, sure,” he answered jokingly, lifting up a hand for him to kiss in case he actually tried. However, he quickly halted the motion as he felt Julius’s index finger gently lift his chin up. He stared in confusion.

Making a  _ “Mmph?” _ sound as he felt their lips press against each other, he stood stock still as he struggled to process what was going on. Distantly, he noticed Beatrice planting her palms on her face.

Julius drew back, and somehow, Subaru felt a little robbed.

“Farewell. I’ll likely see you within the week,” he stated simply and left, as if he didn’t just give Subaru the shock of a lifetime.

The butterflies in his stomach slammed back into him, and that burning sensation in his cheeks returned with a vengeance. Left with nothing else to do, he suddenly dropped into a crouch and clutched at his head, tuning out the world while he frantically tried to sort everything out.

“Eh? Subaru? Are you alright, I suppose?” Beatrice asked in a panic. He didn’t hear her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's not quite there, is he? poor subaru


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julius comes to a realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I… just wanted to write some horny shit but i keep fleshing out their relationship. Take my fucking fingers away from me.

“-and that’s what happened last night,” rambled Subaru. “Any thoughts?”

Otto lay face down on his desk. “Natsuki, please leave me out of this. I have to read over and sign these papers so I’m very busy right now and your woes are very, very distracting.”

“Oh, come on, Otto! I’ve already pestered Beako enough to make even her complain,” he whined.

“That still doesn’t tell me why I’m the one you chose to rant at,” Otto grumbled.

Subaru, with a wicked gleam in his eye, answered, “Because you’re my friend, right? Friends listen to each other when they have problems!”

“You said that last time! Even I’m not that guileless!” shouted Otto, jabbing a finger at the door. “I don’t care if you technically outrank me or even if you’re my friend, I’ve got work to do!”

The two had often traded this sort of banter ever since the first big move Julius made on Subaru, and he never took it personally when the Minister of Internal Affairs had to unleash his rage in order to get work done. Plus, both knew neither had the heart to be genuinely mean.

For a person like Subaru who’d never been in a single relationship in his life, even a casual kiss was a massive deal. He chalked up his empty love life to his terrible socialization skills and hikikomori days, and though he’d read manga and light novels with romance in them and seen the more inappropriate stuff too (clicking the “yes, I’m old enough” button was easy), but actually experiencing the concept when it was aimed at him was incredibly foreign.

It’s not like he’d let go of the whole capitol incident either, but the animosity was fading away dangerously quickly, so maybe…”

Wait, no, doesn’t that make it sound like he had a crush on Julius?

No. Nonono. Bad thoughts. Shoo. he’d repeat the whole event in his head, and actively trying not to think about it only made it worse. Ever since that night, all his thoughts had been consumed by it. 

It was that stupid kiss. Just remembering it made his internal temperature rocket way too high.

“Barasu, there’s steam coming out of your ears,” a certain maid had commented. “Ram may have called you a wild animal, but never expected you to stoop to the level of an inanimate object like a kettle.”

That wasn’t fair! It’s not his fault that he could remember the softness in Julius’s eyes right before their lips touched, and the split second of-

Ugh. Subaru could throw the biggest fit in the world but nothing would change. 

You have it bad, a part of him wanted to say, but he swatted that away too. His love belonged to Emilia and Rem; if only the half-elf returned it, but it would be unfairly arrogant of him to demand her love. Love’s something that should only be returned willingly, as Subaru had learned, and though she cared for him greatly as he did for her, the nature of her love seemed different.

Once, Emilia had inquired about something strange during one of his increasingly common bouts of brain fog.

“Subaru,” she began. “What do you really think about Julius?”

At the sound of her voice, he quickly grounded himself, though still flustered. “Julius? Yeah, him. He’s a prim bastard who flaunts himself around like he owns the place. My opinion on him hasn't changed.”

“Are you still lying? You said you wouldn’t anymore!” Emilia accused, giving him a faintly vexed stare that he found difficult to maintain eye contact with. 

“But-” he began.

“Shush!” she said, lifting a finger in front of Subaru’s mouth. “Is it your fidelity to us what’s making you act in this manner, or is it your old grudge? It’s very obvious that you two like one another! And, there’s one more thing.”

At that, Subaru quieted, tuning in to the drop in volume.

“For me, the marriage I want is between two individuals. I’m unsure what Rem thinks since she also holds romantic affection for you, but I don’t want to be in that sort of relationship.”

He felt a pit in his stomach. “Emilia…”

“Mmhm. That’s why I had a chat with Julius and gave him the okay a long time ago!”

The shift in tone was jarring, and verbally, it showed. “Huh? What do you-”

Emilia leaned forward. “Subaru, do you truly believe Julius would be courting you, especially in my presence, if I had not informed him of this?” she said in a voice that suggested he was being particularly daft. “The two of us had been writing to each other as well, and he even gave me this when I asked.”

Turning to her shelf, she grabbed a small, well worn book. Subaru’s jaw dropped.

It was a manga from his world, but more than that, it was a godawful shoujo manga he’d actually read once.

“I’m attempting to decipher it since it seems to be telling a love story, but neither me nor Julius had any luck,” she sighed. “While the illustrations themselves can convey a lot of feeling, it’s still quite a shame.”

He spoke after a brief pause. “Yeah, a shame. Could I take a look?”

Emilia handed it over, and he paged through it. Sure enough, that knight had done half the things in it. The next time he saw Julius he was going to knock him for a loop.

... Is what he wanted to say, but their next meeting was far from that.

Subaru was out at the capitol again, but on his own this time and on a trip already planned a while ago. A city like this apparently had a few interesting tourist destinations, but he missed them every time he was there. If he counted it out, the first time he got gutted by Elsa when helping Emilia, the second was a pure mess, and then he was here for the party where all  _ that _ happened.

He genuinely didn’t know what to think. With his heart being tugged in three directions (if Emilia’s words were to be believed), then anyone would be lost. That unwillingness to divulge the core of the issue to his friends was in part why he wanted an alone day.

With a sigh, he walked into a plaza with food stalls on every side. He might as well distract himself with something to eat.

It was a rather slow time for their businesses. Thank the dragon, he really didn’t want to stand in line forever. Soon, he walked off with some sort of wrap in hand, but it wouldn’t be complete without a special touch. He whipped out a bottle of mayo to squeeze on it and walked into someone, smearing some of the filling on their shirt.

“Ack! Sorry getting your shirt dirty,” Subaru apologised. He looked up at the person and jumped in the air. 

He ran into him again. Trope 21d? 21c? Actually, trying to categorize them all was driving him crazy, so maybe it was time to stop.

The one he’d crashed into, a man currently dressed in a navy blue, looked down at his newest clothing stain. “Oh dear, I should’ve been more careful,” he said apologetically. “But I do have a question. Why are you hiding behind the corner?”

Still wide-eyed from shock, a pair of brown eyes stared back, but the owner remained hidden behind the building until he noticed his own position, then strolled back out.

“Oh Julius. Hi there, Julius. How have you been, asshole?” he said casually, leaning on the wall.

Julius marginally furrowed his eyebrows. “Why do you sound so strange? How are you faring today?”

“F-fine, you just surprised me,” he replied, but when Julius started walking toward him, he had to consciously stop himself from dashing off.

“Ah, that’s it?” he sighed. “Thank the dragon. I saw you clutching at your chest and for a second, I thought you were having heart problems.”

Julius was more gullible than he’d thought. That was actually kind of cute. 

Subaru pinched himself. No.

Thankfully, he wasn’t watching Subaru’s strange behavior as he’d directed his gaze at the ground. The wrap lay scattered on the pavement, but the mayo bottle was barely scratched. It was a reminder that Subaru had not eaten yet, and his belly rumbled.

“May I buy you something else? I have not eaten either, so we could go together,” Julius offered. 

Enticed by the chance at free food, he agreed. After Kua helped clean his clothing, they ended up at a cafe with a small terrace garden and picked a few random things off the menu.

Julius was sitting right next to him as if nothing were wrong, almost as if what had occurred the last time they met never happened. Is this what Emilia felt the first few times he chose to sit beside her? 

He beamed her a mental apology as a basket of bread was placed in front of them. It was just something to tide them over for now, but he was still grateful for it, attacking it with zeal. At one point, Julius, the bastard, actually tried to feed him with one even after Subaru threatened to chomp on him, albeit lightly.

“You… you actually bit me,” he had said, astounded and cradling his fingers. “I should have known better.”

The clink of tableware eventually signaled that their food was here. Finally, a distraction!

The pizza-like dish was no match for Subaru, who quickly applied a swirl of mayo on the top. He took a bite. It was perfect, but as he continued to eat, Julius’s presence began to take a bigger spot in his thoughts that not even his favorite condiment could distract him from. After approximately thirty minutes at the table, he was about to explode.

“Hey, Julius,” he half-mumbled, almost as if he didn’t want to be heard. “About what happened after that party.”

“When I walked you two back to the inn?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Subaru confirmed. “Right before you left, you-you know?”

Julius blinked in comprehension. “Yes, I remember. What do you want to ask about it?”

Subaru stuttered, turning a bit pink. “W-well, you kissed me?”

“Yes, and?” he prompted.

“That’s it,” he said, full stop.

“That’s it? Truly?” Oddly, Julius seemed genuinely confused. “Why would it be strange for me to kiss a romantic partner?”

Subaru nearly dropped his glass of water and he stared back, twice as dumbfounded.  _ “I’m your boyfriend?” _

For the first time in their acquaintance, Julius was visibly struck with astonishment to the point of near speechlessness. “... Oh lord, you’re serious. Then what about everything we’ve done together? All that time we’ve spent bantering? You never realized?”

“I thought we were just doing stuff together!” Subaru almost shouted, making sure not to raise his voice too high.

He rested his hand on his forehead. “Subaru, I asked if you would like to be my significant other months ago. Do you not remember agreeing?”

Feeling the irrational need to defend himself, Subaru replied, “Doesn’t that just mean a person who’s important? Does it actually mean something else?” 

Silence.

Then, Julius’s breathing started to sound funny. Subaru, growing increasingly worried, asked, “Hey, are you-”

A guffaw cut him off. Forget being struck silent, Julius was almost roaring with belly-deep laughter, much to Subaru’s indignation. A few pedestrians walking by actually stared a bit when the volume was at its highest before continuing onward. He couldn’t blame them. It was quite the spectacle from a man who, even when dressed casually, exuded a proper air.

When he finally regained proper use of his lungs, he took a long, laborious breath and said, “You’re telling me that all my courting was for nothing? I should be angry right now. Somehow, you never stop finding ways to surprise me.”

“Should I take that as an insult?” Subaru huffed, irked at being the center of his mirth.

Julius shook his head. “Absolutely not. Your spontaneity is one of the reasons I first fell in love with you. Even now, I still remember when I heard of your role in the White Whale hunt, though in a way, this predicament is somehow more shocking.”

That direct statement, along with his still rough breathing and slightly disheveled hair, stirred something within Subaru and he turned his head away, embarrassed with the attention.

“Subaru,” Julius said.

“What is it?” he replied slowly, noticing the change in atmosphere.

“Now that you have full awareness of the situation,” he began. “May I kiss you?”

“...”

Subaru’s face was already flushed at this point, and only became redder when he quietly, minutely nodded. To his bemusement, Julius hooked his foot around the nearest potted plant and moved it until its leaves blocked out the view.

“A courtesy to us and any potential onlookers,” he explained before immediately cupping his hands around Subaru’s face and kissing deeply. 

The boy’s heart hammered wildly. The longer it went on, the more his shoulders sagged and the more he sank into the sensation of their lips pressing together, savoring in the fluttery feeling building up inside.

Julius wasn’t the only one feeling breathless when they split apart.

A few thin sunbeams filtered through the gaps in the foliage, dancing on their faces. When light occasionally glanced over Julius’s already vibrant irises, though he’d never say it out loud, Subaru could almost swear that they glowed.

Trope number 44, an idiot who doesn’t realize it’s love until they get slapped in the face with it. He’d admit in the newest and last addition before retiring the mental tally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How’s the romance going? It’s my first time writing something like this, so i hope it’s fine


	4. *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there was only one bed? And there was only one bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***NSFW ahead, click off if you’re not into that
> 
> Ha! Finally, I can change the rating to explicit, thank fuck. 

Subaru would have to get some pretty crazy amnesia to forget the night they’d (officially) started dating.

Honestly, almost everything that happened after the last kiss was a blur. Julius actually showed him around the city, but if asked, Subaru wouldn’t be able to name any of the places they went nor the monuments they saw. The first crystal clear memories were something more mundane.

“What do you mean you’re also completely booked?” Subaru said, staring blankly at a clerk.

“Exactly what I said. Can’t do nothin’ about it now,” the middle aged man at the counter replied flatly. “And a word of advice. Been a large influx of travelers these pas’ few days, so the places that even have a free room are chargin’ sky high right now.”

He cursed himself for not preparing in advance before Julius patted his shoulder. “You know, Subaru, you can lodge for free at my place.”

“Huh? You really think my heart could take that right now after all that?” he chattered. “I might explode if I have to stay in the same place as you! Please make a better effort to understand me, okay?”

“Yes, yes, I understand. Anastasia’s manor here isn’t quite as large as you’re probably used to, as per city regulations, but it does have a fair number of rooms,” Julius explained appeasingly.

Placated, he agreed. But he was a fool to have left things to chance.

“So, you’re telling me a bunch of guests showed up and all the guest rooms are taken?”

Julius had the good sense to appear mildly guilty. “Unfortunately. You may have to stay with me, as I doubt anyone would invite a stranger to sleep near them.”

Oh yeah, what was this world’s god? Od Lagna? 

He was going to strangle it. 

“Fine, but I’m sleeping on the floor,” he declared. Famous last words.

Even as the maids were arranging a layer of blankets on the floor, Julius kept asking, “Are you certain? We don’t have free mattresses at the moment.”

“Yes, I’m certain,” he’d mutter peevishly, and things continued until everything was prepared.

Julius, now in his pyjamas, lay on his side with his head propped up with his arm. “You know, I don’t wish to be too indulgent, but I’m actually a bit downhearted.”

“Stew in your own dismay,” Subaru replied lightly. “Good night.”

Strangely, the abuse only made him chuckle. “Alright, I’ll see you as we wake.”

The lamp flicked off, and it was time to sleep. Sleeep.

Subaru was utterly terrible at falling asleep. It was only with Beako at his side that he could regularly get a decent night’s rest, and she wasn’t holding his hand right now. Well, he was left with one more choice.

One Betty, two Bettys, three Bettys, four…

...two hundred and seven Bettys, two hundred and eight Bettys…

He’d wager that if this were his home world, it would be about one in the morning. This plan clearly wasn’t going to work, especially when he’d gotten used to the real deal. The bed, or rather the lack of a bed, didn’t help either. Thick blankets could only do so much for someone who constantly rolls around.

… That mattress was looking very comfortable. It did really come down to this in the end. Was this predestined or something?

Subaru tossed and turned for maybe half an hour longer, then, fed up, he got on his feet and crawled into the spot furthest from Julius. The man really wasn’t joking when he said that this was a nice bed.

He wakes up super early anyways, and if he were lucky, Julius would never notice.

One Betty, two Bettys, three Bettys, four-

A shift in the bedsheet made his heart stop. It must’ve just been Julius rolling over in his sleep.

Five Bettys, six Bettys, seven Bettys, eight Bettys-

Another shift. He swore internally. He’d never fall asleep at this rate.

Nine Bet-

Subaru almost got a heart attack when an arm wrapped around him from behind, but the initial shock soon gave way to a pattering nervousness. “Hey, Julius,” he whispered. “You awake?”

No response. This was becoming more embarrassing by the second, especially when he paid more attention to the arm’s position. It wasn’t too close to his crotch, but it was near enough for his brain (and eventually, his lower half) to get more worked up than necessary since even brushes of normal contact from Julius did that.

A few more minutes passed before he gathered enough courage to speak louder. He swallowed. “Hey! Julius, if you can hear me, then move?”

Finally, a yawn signaled his wakefulness. “Ah, alright,” replied a slightly sleepy voice. The hand began to retreat, and Subaru breathed a sigh of relief until Julius’s hand brushed right against his erection.

Subaru stopped breathing, waiting apprehensively for a response, or maybe a lack of one. Of course, there was no such fortune to be found.

“Subaru,” he said. “If you don’t like it, please tell me to stop.”

A hand snaked its way beneath his waistband and Subaru gasped. Julius’s hand gently rubbed away at it, prodding and rubbing and stroking. He was acutely aware of how oversensitive he was at the moment and quickly held in a needy moan.

It was only at the climax that he let a “Nggh” slip out alongside some heavy breathing. He was very glad the lights were off since he probably looked as red as a tomato and practically trembled with embarrassment; Julius was never going to let him live this down.

“You were awake the whole time?” Subaru accused, still catching his breath.

“Only partially. But still, inducing this sort of reaction was unintended,” he mumbled, fingers smeared with the creamy liquid. “It’s surprisingly thick”

He himself wasn’t going to live this down either.

“It’s not my fault!” he cried in defense. “I don’t have many chances to get myself off during the day and Beatrice has to hold my hand at night!”

Julius chuckled, and the close proximity gave Subaru a slight buzz. “I wasn’t accusing you of anything,” he said, retracting his sticky hand and turning the lights on to a dim level. “We should go wash up now.”

Attempting to get out of bed, he was halted by a tug on his sleeve. “Where do you think you’re going?” Subaru muttered, voice low.

“To wash my hands. Why?” Julius inquired, confused.

“That was a rhetorical question,” responded Subaru. 

Julius stared at him for a moment, then continued his attempt to leave. “Alright, then I should-”

Subaru threw himself on top of him. Now pinned beneath him, Julius blinked, eyes wide at the disheveled, pink-cheeked boy looking down on him.

“I don’t like debts, that's the thing.” Oh boy, he was going to regret saying this. “Shouldn’t I repay you in kind after… that? I’d never be able let go if I don’t.”

“I cannot deny that your offer sounds highly appealing, is that alright?” Julius queried.

He narrowed his eyes, making a face that would’ve scared his old classmates into flinching. “Hmph, do your worst.”

“Are you sure?” Julius questioned again, completely unaffected by his piercing stare. An affirmative nod answered, and he sighed, “I’ll see what I can do, but I’ll need to get something first.”

“We’re lucky there’s a bathroom directly connected to my room. Things would be somewhat more inconvenient otherwise,” he casually noted after cleaning his hand, then he closed the bedroom door. That left Subaru sitting by himself.

Quickly, the bravado fizzled out. He buried his burning face in the sheets when he started thinking too hard, and when he heard a creak, he lifted his head up just enough to see the figure at the door.

“So, where did all your bluster go?” Julius teased.

“Shut up,” Subaru said, voice muffled by cloth. “What’d you get?”

He held up a small glass of a greenish-yellow liquid. “I borrowed some oil from the kitchen to reduce your discomfort. It’s extra virgin, ironically.”

“Extra virgin olive oil my ass,” Subaru muttered. They really were doing this.

“A terrible but very applicable joke for this situation. I wish I thought ahead and got something more suited to this task, but this will have to do for now,” Julius compromised. “Could you lay down on your back?”

Wordlessly, he obliged, and watched a stream of oil drip down onto his skin. Then, a finger slipped in. It didn’t feel good, but it didn’t hurt either so he didn’t say anything.

Julius explained. “Immediately going in full force could hurt you, so we should take it slow.” 

Another finger slipped in and started scissoring, making him twitch at any sudden movements. Subaru was painfully aware of everything touching him, whether it be his black t-shirt or the rumbled fabric of the bedsheets, so when Julius’s fingers curled and rubbed against a spot about two inches deep, he was unprepared to receive the sensation in full. Reflexively clamping his mouth shut barely managed to keep in the noise.

Soon, a third finger made its way inside, stretching and rubbing. To make it worse, Julius also ran a finger up his length, sending a shudder up his spine. It twitched weakly as it started to stiffen again in his grasp.

There was a mounting level of embarrassment mixed with pleasure, and they sometimes melded together almost indistinguishably when Julius successfully made him spill a cry.

“Try to reduce the tension in your body, or else things could turn out painfully,” he warned, then asked, “How are you feeling right now?”

“Hah, as well as I could be,” Subaru answered vaguely, knowing that his veneer of disagreeableness was the last thing keeping his dignity intact. “I’m supposed to be making it up to you, but you’re doing all of this.”

He shook his head. “No, It feels good to see you in pleasure, especially when you’re usually so reluctant to show if I’ve made you happy. This is a rare treat.”

A groan leaked out as Julius pressed down harder than before. “Are you some sort of voyeur?” Subaru groused.

“Not that I know of. Would it count if it were just you?” he replied, then withdrew his fingers. 

He looked on in confusion as Julius rubbed some more lubrication onto himself. Now, Subaru could finally get a decent grasp on Julius’s size. It wasn’t too big, but was larger than his own. it still would’ve been intimidating to Subau even if it were half its size, especially considering that it wasn’t entirely erect yet.

Julius seemed to grasp his worry from the expression on his face. “Please try to relax, my love,” he whispered near his ear, leaning in close.

Momentarily distracted by the new form address, Subaru jolted in surprise when he felt the tip enter. With a deliberate slowness, Julius pushed in deeper and deeper, and after what felt like forever, he managed to completely fit himself in. 

It almost felt as if it were still growing bigger inside him. He was probably just thinking too much.

The lull of quiet was broken when Julius commented, “I’m a bit worried. You’re rather tight.”

“Of course I’d be, you bastard,” he replied weakly. Growing uncomfortable with the gaze resting on his flushed face, Subaru reached up and placed his hands over Julius’s in an attempt to block his view. “Stop staring at me so much. Be more considerate, do you know how embarrassing this is?”

Suddenly, he felt something wet touch his fingers. He retracted his arms in a split second. “You _licked_ me?” he half-shrieked.

“Is that’s your main concern at the moment? I assume I haven’t tried hard enough, then,” Julius replied with a faint grin. Then, he began to rock his hips back and forth. Subaru couldn’t resist the slight whimper that fought its way out of his throat.

As Julius continued on, Subaru’s breaths became more shallow and rapid as he clutched at the sheets. A trail of drool rolled from the corner of his mouth. If he had the presence of mind, he would’ve immediately noticed and rubbed it off with a sleeve, but that was currently the last thought that would’ve occurred to him.

Even at this point he’d only willingly let himself pant out loud, and even that felt almost shameful. Julius finally decided to bring up this odd behavior when he saw Subaru physically smothering his mouth with his hands.

“Why are you restraining yourself like that?” he asked curiously, slowing the pace and giving Subaru the chance to properly answer.

Subaru, barely lifting his palms up, responded under his breath. “-on’t like that.”

“Don’t like what?” he prompted.

Subaru took a deep breath, turning away. “D-don’t like hearing myself like that,” he stuttered. “ _You’ll_ hear it… embarrassing.”

“I see,” Julius responded. For a second, he seemed to be lost in thought. Without warning, he shoved it deeply into a shocked Subaru. Julius listened to his sharp intake of breath. “You’ll just have to hear it over and over until you get used to it, then. Repeated exposure should work.”

As he was rocked by the sudden burst of movement, tears beaded at Subaru’s eyes as low, breathy moans began to filter through his fingers. It grew even more difficult to stifle when Julius began tracing ringlets around his nipples with his tongue, occasionally pausing to suck on one and graze the tips with his teeth. 

“Your… your teeth!” he gave a muffled cry. Julius’s response was to clamp down with a gentle grinding motion. Subaru yelped the first time, and shuddered every time the wet spots left by Julius’s saliva became exposed to the cool air, exacerbated by the newfound sensitivity of his nipples.

Noticing that, Julius took care to lick a few more spots across his chest. Trust the bastard to pay attention to that sort of thing.

The knight was comparatively much more composed. But even then, the short, hot breaths Subaru could feel on his chest and those pinked cheeks indicated that he was also quite worked up. More than once he felt a plip of sweat drop on top of him. The stark differences in how they reacted to the situation was still maddening, though. 

A free hand had also wrapped around his length, and rubbed away until more milky fluid dripped down and covered his fingers. Even then, he continued to stimulate his overcharged nerves, sending constant tremors through his body.

The overlapping of everything was _so, so much_. It was overwhelming enough to completely forget about maintaining supposed dignity. Subaru’s hands eventually shifted away from his mouth.

Julius enthusiastically took advantage and planted a kiss on him.

Instantly, Subaru noticed his lips being parted as a tongue slipped in, entwining with his own. They stayed connected like that for half a minute before he had to surface for air. Just breathing through his nose wasn’t enough.

A gossamer-thin strand of saliva glistened faintly in the light, connecting their lips, but neither thought to pay heed.

He curled into Julius’s chest when the pounding grew more rapid than ever before. Unthinkingly, Subaru wrapped his arms around him, clinging desperately on as partially formed words fell out in between thrusts. 

“I-nghhh--J-Juli-!” he gasped, hugging him tight. 

Julius also returned the favor by clutching on even harder, sensing the press of their bodies. They could feel each other’s hearts thrumming at a breakneck pace.

“Su...baru-!” he breathed out.

Staring at Subaru’s partially undressed torso, he recalled a previous happening from the cafe. He gave Subaru’s shoulder a quick nip as revenge and heard Subaru’s startled cry ring out.

Subaru reflexively arched his back, sensing himself climaxing as he felt something foreign throbbing and pulsing sensation from within. It jerked, and the sensation of warmth flooded his insides, spreading outward.

Exhausted, both collapsed back onto the bed and shuddered as the aftershocks rippled throughout their bodies. The sound of jaggedly gasping breaths filled the air.

Aside from that, it was silent. It would soon be interrupted, however.

“...My apologies,” Julius murmured. “I should’ve had more control over myself.” 

After he recovered enough to realize what just happened, Subaru made an expression of abject mortification.

“Even if you told me to ‘do my worst,’ I still should have asked if I could cum ins-”

“Stop!” he interrupted. “I get it, so stop the sentence right there!”

Julius listened. Instead he took the time to get up and properly observe his lover.

Eyes, pink at the corners and struggling to remain open, fluttered up and down. His dark shirt remained on, though that would be an overstatement considering it was pushed up enough that one arm escaped its sleeve entirely. A bit of a mess.

“I could tell you were going to properly orgasm and wanted to do it together, so I sped up,” Julius commented.

“You’re… you’re pretty shameless, asshole,” he muttered back, still deeply flushed. 

The exhaustion finally seemed to catch up with him. Eventually, his eyes sealed shut and remained closed. Julius sighed and affectionately mussed the boy’s already disheveled hair.

He gently picked Subaru off the bed, careful not to jostle him too much, and brought him to the bathroom for a quick cleanup. A wise decision considering how cum was slowly beginning to ooze out his rear and dribble down Julius’s arm.

A red spot on Subaru’s shoulder caught his attention. The reason for biting him was quite petty, especially for a spirit knight like Julius, but somehow he couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad.

He’ll ask Kua to heal it later, but for now, it sat there as a hint of what happened that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it, it's done, i’ve pulled every card in my deck for now. hope that was satisfying, and don’t expect another update for a while.
> 
> Fun fact, I’ve written a few rezero fics already. This just isn’t the usual account I post on because i'm mildly worried people i know irl will somehow find out i’ve written about an anime character getting dicked down (i mean, one of them wouldn't care so they'd be fine)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re going to have the feelings talk in the most disjointed way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha, the mortifying ordeal of having memories and having the ability to recall said memories

The first thing Subaru noticed when his consciousness resurfaced was the sensation of being cocooned in warmth.

It still seemed dark out, so it must’ve been pretty early in the morning. Typical for the unwilling early riser he was. He yawned sleepily while attempting a lazy stretch, but something more solid than blanket stopped his movement. Mind still fuzzy from sleep, it took a minute before realizing what blocked out the light was a whole person.

Subaru’s head was cradled into Julius’s chest.

Everything from last night began to filter through in the form of a blow by blow account in his mind and his face grew redder with each passing second until his mind refused to process any more.

“Morning,” half-yawned a groggy voice. Having been nudged into waking by Subaru’s prior restlessness, Julius had gathered himself enough to speak coherently.

Subaru flew off the bed but was immediately caught in a tangle of bedsheets, then hit the ground in a clumsy, thrashing heap. Hastily, he stumbled to his feet and felt his back hit the wall, standing frozen while staring at a thoroughly confused Julius, who hadn’t quite shaken the grip of sleep yet.

They both remained locked in position for a few moments. However, Julius’s continuously held eye contact began to feel overwhelming. He threw the door open without a second thought and dashed off into a random empty hallway.

Retreating into a corner, he slapped his hands on his face to blot out the tide of embarrassment threatening to overcome him. It was all in vain, of course. He knew that, but still, he had to do something to stem the flow, if for nothing but a gesture saying he tried, and damn, he _tried_.

The fact that he could physically feel the slight aches from last night served as a constant reminder as well. He wouldn’t bring himself to regret it, but it didn’t mean there weren’t consequences and playing those memories on repeat over and over should constitute as cruel and unusual punishment. The recollection was intensely pleasurable but he just couldn’t take thinking about it.

Suddenly, he spotted some white through the cracks between his fingers. He lifted his head in a moment of curiosity.

That wasn’t his shirt. His wasn’t white, nor did it have long sleeves.

He hopped up and gave himself a once-over, shrieking, “My pants too? We’ve done a clothing switch! That’s too domestic!”

A stinging tap on his shoulder alerted him of someone in his presence and he whipped around, startled.

Wide cobalt blue eyes stared back, only half as surprised as he was. Pretend nothing’s wrong. This is a normal conversation with another person not involving Julius. “Ah, Anastasia! What are you doing here?” he asked, quashing all traces of a freakout from his voice.

The woman scrunched her brow in mild annoyance. “Funny of you to say that, Natsuki, since you’re the one who dashed off on my poor knight.”

Fuck.

His shoulders sagged. “I know, I’m sorry.” Subaru already knew that his swift departure likely wouldn’t be taken well.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizin’ to,” she replied with no heat in her tone. “Julius seemed a bit sad, wondering if he’d done something wrong to ya. I’m just wonderin’ why since ya don’t ditch for no reason.”

“Does ‘it’s personal’ count as one?” he asked unhopefully.

Anastasia hmm-ed and said, “Nope! Though if you really don’t want to tell me, then ya don’t have to. Just make sure you two sort things out properly.”

“Yes ma’am,” he dutifully replied, tailing along when she gestured for him to follow.

They made some small talk as they passed by some large, decorative windows. It was mostly filler just to occupy their time, until Subaru brought up a complaint.

“Why did you poke me so hard, anyway?” he asked, shielding his eyes from the morning sunlight.

She looked at him oddly. “What are ya talkin’ about? I only gave ya a light tap to catch your attention.”

Subaru returned her gaze with equal confusion. “Then why did it hurt?”

When Anastasia only gave a slight shrug, Subaru tugged down the gold trimming on his collar to take a look, and uncomprehendingly, he stared at the patch of bruising before remembering. He shoved the cloth back in a fit of panic, cheeks pink and awaiting her reaction.

Sadly, judging by the way Anastasia was covering her mouth with a hand, her judgement was too swift to hide from. “Hmm, I see. I think I understand the situation better.”

“It’s not what you-” he stopped, pitch rising, and frantically corrected himself with, “I mean, it-”

He halted, covered his face again, words trailing off.

“Wow, I never thought you could be so cute,” she teased, rubbing a palm on her cheek.

“Anastasia please be quiet I’m trying to maintain my composure so please let me scream inside for a while please,” he rushed out in a single breath, muffled.

She sighed in amusement. “If I weren’t such a greedy gal I would’ve snatched up Julius a long ago. You’re a lucky fella, ya know?”

Dragging his hands off his face, he sputtered, “What? That asshole?” 

Chastising teal eyes made him stop in his tracks. “Natsuki, it doesn't do to lie to others, nor yourself either.”

A pause of silence filled the air as Subaru struggled on what to say for a moment. Quietly, he admitted, “... Yeah, I do know. I still don’t understand why or how, but somehow he’s chosen me.”

“Chosen’s a bit of a strong word. Love is a hurricane even for smooth guys like Julius,” she stated lightly, turning to continue down the hall.

“I didn’t expect a One Piece reference today,” he joked half-heartedly. This world had no oceans, so did it even have hurricanes?

Anastasia went on as if she didn’t hear him, giggling, “Since you reciprocate his feelings and you’re so close to your candidate, the Emilia camp has no chance of refusing a sweetened alliance deal between us, but that might be an odd thing to say as we’re allies in all but name.”

“Huh, what about the Crusch camp?” he questioned. “We’re already allies with them.”

“We’ll just have to be friends by extension, at least for now,” she waved off. Despite her casual tone, Subaru had no doubt she was mulling it over in far more detail than she let on. 

She voiced a few more thoughts. “Maybe I should start callin’ you Subaru from now on since I’ve got the feelin’ I’ll be seein’ you more now. Bein’ improperly formal’s no good either, even if it’s better than actin’ improper when formal’s needed.”

A glint of purple appeared behind a corner, and Subaru froze up as Julius’s flickering gaze snapped onto him.

There was a deep pit of mortification and attraction that settled into his stomach ever since this all started, but seeing Julius approaching at a brisk walk, uncharacteristically ruffled, was more than enough to throw Subaru’s thoughts back into disarray.

“Oh, thank god I’ve found you,” the purple haired knight exhaled. “I was worried that you’d get lost, but it seems that my lady got to you first.”

“Sorry for running out,” Subaru blurted out.

Julius blinked, then shook his head. “No, I can’t blame you. You seemed to be genuinely agitated, even now.”

“Huh, what are you talking about? I’m perfectly fine!” Subaru feigned, almost flailing his hands around in outward denial. 

Anastasia sighed again. “Well, I’ll leave you two lovebirds be. I’ve got work to do.”

And as quick as a wink, she vacated their presence.

They were alone together again, something Subaru viscerally understood. Why did he have to pick the emptiest spot in the mansion?

“You said you were fine, but I cannot help but worry. Are you sore anywhere?” Julius asked with a concerned gaze.

“I’m in tip top shape, of course. Why would you think otherwise?” he declared.

Unfortunately he was, in fact, quite sore. His lower half ached a bit, and now that he realized the bite mark was there, his mind couldn’t stop paying attention to it. Why did Julius bite him? Did the bastard secretly have a thing for it? Subaru had very mixed feelings about that. 

Julius called his bluff, cutting off Subaru’s spiral of rambling. “Do you truly think I’m that inconsiderate? After what happened last night, of course I’d feel concern for your well being.”

“Ah,” he stated with a flat tone. “That makes a lot of se-” 

Subaru went silent as Julius sandwiched his hips between his palms with almost imperceptible lightness. “Your hips must be especially uncomfortable right now. Would you like Kua to heal you?”

“...That’d be nice,” he managed to squeeze out.

Hands withdrew as a soothing sensation flooded his body. Kua, who had secretly snuck over to him a moment earlier, quickly set to work.

Subaru let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Thanks, Kua. You’re gonna beat Ia for the most helpful of Julius’s spirits if you keep this up,” he joked. “As much as I love Beatrice, I could never look her in the eye and tell her what’s going on.”

She did a few loops in excitement and disappeared, only for a red dot to materialize.

“I think you’ve bothered Ia with that statement, my love,” Julius mentioned.

“Aw, are you mad?” asked the boy. The jerking, vertical motions she was making almost looked like annoyance, so Subaru took this opportunity to be the one doing the teasing. “I didn’t think you’d care about this so much. Better try a bit harder or you’ll get overtaken,” he playfully ragged on with a wink. 

“Subaru, you might want to be careful. Ia-” Julius cautioned.

The red spirit hovered close to his black hair, then unleashed a flash of heat that startled him enough to throw off his balance. 

“-doesn’t take to teasing very well.”

Doing the spirit equivalent to a huff, she too disappeared, leaving her unlucky victim panting against the wall.

It didn’t hurt and he wasn’t scared for his life at any point. However, that rush of unnatural warmth made his fingers tremble and the shade of his face could rival any of Priscilla’s beloved appas. Guess it was his fault for ticking off a fire spirit.

An ungloved hand settled on Subaru’s forehead, and the comparative coolness made him release a sigh of relief. “She really did a number on you. I’ll have to talk to her later.”

Julius wasn’t messing around. It felt like all his energy had been sapped out somehow, and he hardly had the strength to stand with the wall. Apparently, that was obvious enough that Julius felt the need to take it into his own hands, literally.

Sensing an arm loop behind his back, Subaru tilted his head in confusion until another hooked underneath his legs. _A bridal carry!?_ was his last indignant thought before falling unconscious.

* * *

A pleasant scent crept its way into Subaru’s awareness, slowly pulling him from his sleep.

Forcing his heavy eyelids open, he stared around in confusion at the room before slapping his palm on his forehead, groaning in realization. He really needed to stop provoking spirits. Unfortunately, some of them take to it about as well as Beatrice did the first time they met.

The sun told him it was practically time for lunch, let alone breakfast. With that, he attempted to throw off the sheets before he noticed something silver positioned over him on what seemed like a rack. On the tray sat the source of the mouthwatering smell.

With a little sheepish smile, he commented to himself, “Julius, I would’ve gotten up anyway. You didn’t have to go through the trouble of an in-bed breakfast. Or lunch. Or whatever it is at this point.”

Ah well, it’s not like he’d refuse it. He hadn’t eaten and was still pretty tired from Ia’s antics anyways.

And speaking of the spirit, a speck of red drifted into view the moment Subaru’s cutlery clicked on a plate. He grinned teasingly as he said, “Oh, Ia. Were you sent here to say sorry?”

In all honesty, even if a quasi spirit didn’t have visible expressions like a fully fledged one, he knew Ia was pouting at him.

Subaru practically chugged down the soup before snatching a fancy looking toasted sandwich off a dish. Any watching maids would probably become disgruntled at his current lack of manners, but he was hungry and hey, nobody was watching except for the spirit. Ia couldn’t even tell anyone if she wanted to, except for a certain someone at the door.

“Ah good, you’ve woken up,” said a familiar voice. 

Choosing not to look up, he responded to Julius with a mouthful of bread. “This time, you really did set a spirit on me. Didn’t know you had it in yourself.”

He scratched his cheek with a finger, apologizing with, “I should’ve told you she’s the most temperamental of the whole group. You might usually get along with spirits, but there’s a few who won’t yield as easily to your charm.”

“Charm? Yeah, right,” Subaru shrugged, staring out the window. “I’d say that’s a pretty strong word to stick on me.”

Julius frowned. “You’re being self demeaning again. I would say that many are reasonably drawn to you, though not usually in the same manner a lesser or quasi spirit would be,” he asserted, drawing closer. “And there’s one question I’d like to ask.”

“What is it?” he muttered nonchalantly. He tapped a plate with his soup spoon, which had already been emptied minutes ago.

“You’re dodging eye contact again,” the purple haired knight replied. “Considering you, that’s a bit strange.”

Subaru let out a quiet “geck!” in surprise.

“I do have a clue as to why, but was it about last night?”

“No-well, yes, but there’s something else too,” Subaru muttered, looking directly into his yellow irises. However, Julius didn’t respond, choosing instead to wait expectantly.

“...”

“...”

Subaru cracked. Quietly but perfectly audible, he admitted, “I fell in love with Emilia, Rem, and now you? I know I’m greedy but this takes it to the next level. I’m horrible.”

“You cannot control how many you fall in love with, though I will confess to some jealousy during a few low points,” he offered free of judgement, moving to sit at Subaru’s side. “Additionally, you’re almost as greedy as the woman I serve, if that is any consolation.”

That made him release a snort as a flash of white hair surfaced in his mind. “Oh, you have no idea.”

Julius blinked in surprise. “You’re quite confident of that, it seems.”

“I want everyone to be okay,” he answered firmly. “And I’m going to make Emilia the Queen.”

“That’s... not much at all,” responded Julius in bemusement, apparently unsure of what to say next. 

The mix of concern and admiration in his eyes alerted Subaru that the conversation was skirting into uncomfortable territory, so he steered it into embarrassing territory that he actually wished to know about.

“Hey, Julius,” he prompted.

Said man tilted his head minutely. “Yes?”

“Why do you like me so much anyways?” Subaru asked, breaking eye contact and resting his head on his palm. “I’m not much to look at, you know?”

Julius rubbed his chin in thought. “Well, that’s a weighty question, but I’ll try to explain since there’s quite a bit. I hate to bring this up, but remember our big fight?”

He cringed visibly at the reminder. He’d even have nightmares of it on occasion, even if it was no longer a fresh wound on his conscience.

“That is when you first began to consume my thoughts, albeit not in a positive light, to put it lightly,” he began. “And then, I heard news of the White Whale. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I didn’t truly reconsider how I’d treated you during the duel until I heard of your exploits.”

At Julius’s somewhat slouched posture, Subaru unconsciously moved to comfort him, but got cut off when he continued. “We fought alongside each other. Then we parted ways. However, I never stopped thinking or talking of you, and one day, Anastasia snapped and told me to visit you or she’d kick me all the way to Roswaal mansion herself.”

He allowed himself a chuckle, and the corners of Subaru mouth quirked upward at the image of the short woman at the end of her rope, jabbing a finger in her knight’s face and ordering him to _just_ go.

“Admittedly, I did not realize my feelings at the time. I merely thought I wanted to see you more due to respect for your accomplishments, but a few visits were enough to make me understand what was going on,” he elaborated.

A deeply fond expression had crossed Julius’s face. It was distant as he visited old memories, and the black haired boy felt something almost unbearable in his chest at being the cause and turned away, but couldn’t break off his attention. His focus had zeroed in on Julius’s words.

“I love the way you talk. It might be silly or inappropriate at times, but you speak your mind and tell the truth when it matters. I love how much you love others. It’s clear in the actions you take and the devotion your companions have to you. I love how much effort you pour into your goals no matter how simple they are. Watching your face light up when you succeed is always a treat, even if I’m the one who loses,” Julius listed off effortlessly, only having difficulty at which to say next. “I love how you bring hope even to the worst of circumstances. I love the compassion you possess. I love how easy it is to be around you.”

Subaru was struck over and over with every reiteration of love and shook in place, buzzing with energy and unable to form a single syllable even when he felt a soft pressure grasp his hand.

Staring intently into Subaru’s eyes, he stated, “There is much I am unsure of in life, but there are too many reasons to fall in love with you that I can’t ignore it. I almost couldn’t believe that you returned my affection.”

Slowly, the black haired man opened his mouth.

“I… like your stupid fancy hair,” Subaru admitted. “It’s how I spot you in a crowd when we get separated. I like being with you. Even when you mess with me, it’s still a bit fun.”

Julius felt Subaru’s hand grip back, growing more firm as he carried on. “I love the way you look at me. I can’t take it sometimes, I really can’t, but it’s impossible to stop thinking about it. What the hell happened to me? I love how you’re still so patient with me, even I’m stupid sometimes and can’t tell what’s going on. I-”

“-love you,” he finally admitted with a steadiness that surprised himself. “I really do, somehow.”

It was amazing how much joy that seemed to bring the purple haired knight, so much that Subaru wasn’t shocked in the slightest when a hand wrapped behind his back and another behind his head, and was pulled into their tightest embrace yet. Who needed to breathe, anyway?

* * *

“It’s a shame you can’t stay here for any longer,” said a politely flat voice. 

Subaru knew better than that, though; the hint of disappointment was clear if one paid attention. “Stop moping. I gotta go before Otto actually gets mad and starts a ten minute lecture on timeliness that I’ll tune out.”

“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before. Have you even learned?” Julius chastised. “Also, isn’t he the main one keeping the Emilia camp together, legally speaking?”

Subaru responded casually, rubbing his nose. “That’s our head of internal affairs for you! I like bothering him anyway.”

“I’m being verbally harassed by my own best friend and his romantic partner. What am I even supposed to do in this situation!?” cried the disgruntled head of internal affairs, squeezing the reins of the ground dragon. “I’ve even somehow been forced to take the role of carriage driver again!”

Nobody was there to corroborate Otto’s suffering as the other two laughed.

“Anyway, I guess it’s bye for now,” Subaru prompted.

Julius bowed his head slightly. “It appears so. Sadly, we’ll have to see one another later.”

Courtesy dictated that he should wait for the carriage to start moving before leaving, and as he watched Subaru take the first step inside, he paused at the entrance, then turned back around.

“What is it?” he asked curiously, watching him rush closer. “Did you forget someth-”

Before he could even complete the sentence, Subaru planted a kiss straight on his lips. It was a swift affair, but he found a spark of pride in how that seemed to fluster the usually unflappable knight.

“Don’t count on getting it too often, alright?” Subaru pointed at him and proclaimed, a blush threatening to cover his cheeks again. “This is a rare privilege!”

“Y-yes, I see,” Julius stuttered dumbly as Subaru hopped back in and rolled off in the carriage.

Once inside, the urge to pace about the interior took over as he replayed the kiss in his head. The merchant almost managed to tune him out until Subaru suddenly grabbed his shoulders in a vice grip, almost making him shriek in shock.

_“You know what I just realized, Otto? I got hit with a home run before initiating first base myself!”_ he whispered in a rush. _“What the hell? This isn’t like a shoujo manga at all!”_

“Natsuki, I am not saved from context clues even if i have not heard those specific terms before, so kindly be quiet about your love troubles, please,” the merchant replied with a calm expression, voice cracking.

“Well, it’s your own dirty mind jumping to conclusions!” Subaru accused baselessly.

_“But aren’t I right?”_ Otto shouted vainly in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Subaru: “Ah. i should stop messing with ia”
> 
> Immediately starts teasing her again.
> 
> Julius and subaru is probably one of my favorite rezero pairings in terms of what you can do with their interactions. A lot of it’s probably due to how subaru’s usually super open about loving someone (“you’re such an angel! EMT!”). With emilia, he seems much more confident in the fact that he loves her, stating it as easily as a fact, and would likely do the same with most other characters had he formed a crush on them
> 
> but, due to past… circumstances, he’s rather standoffish with julius, even if they now hold mutual respect for each other that one side won’t admit. It’s very funny seeing them together


	6. *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Subaru is being a bashful idiot again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Another nsfw chapter, for all ye lust cultists out there. gonna replace chapter titles containing it with an asterisk for easier navigation
> 
> wow, another chapter so soon? I should really be working on other things. gonna put this fic on another break to avoid another 3 am post

Julius was too polite sometimes, and Subaru was sure he was intentionally playing up the chivalry when it bugged him most.

Case in point was the current situation.

It had been a week or so since their last meeting, and this time, he was staying overnight at the Roswaal mansion. Not particularly unusual, but this time, he had something on his mind that left him in a somewhat high-strung state in Julius’s presence.

He’d been woken up earlier than usual by a dream with him in it, and realized he’d had a wet dream. That was fairly innocuous. But, to a man as new to love as him, it occupied his mind and wouldn’t leave even if he were to kick and scream.

Subaru watched as the man lifted a glass of water, imagining the hand wrapping around his-

He slapped his cheeks. Surprised at the motion, Julius turned to him curiously.

“It’s nothing, just ignore me,” he groaned.

That was essentially how most of the day went. He trailed after Julius in a manner befitting his thoughts, stopping when he stopped, walking when he walked, and never fully saying what he was thinking out loud. At most, he managed half a sentence and clammed up again. 

His stupid pride was getting in the way again. Or maybe, it was just the embarrassment. Probably both

“Barusu’s being consumed by his primal urges again - chasing people like a dog looking for a treat,” Ram commented without turning around.

It was difficult refraining from commenting about her relationship with Roswaal, or lack of it, thank god. But then again, she was right for once. He felt like he was about to explode with frustration.

Every time he found himself in a compromising situation, specifically engineered or not, Julius smoothly took care of the supposed problem with little mess.

Subaru tripping into him at top speed? Caught and easily placed back on his feet. Spilling a drink on himself in front of his own bedroom? The man insisted on waiting outside as Subaru changed. Hell, when he tried resting his head on Julius’s shoulders, he got up and attempted to fetch a pillow.

If any of his plans succeeded, all he’d have to do is say yes. But nothing seemed to work.

Then, in a last ditch attempt to finally say what he’d wanted to this whole time, he directly reached for Julius’s cape and tugged, stopping both in their tracks. 

“Do you want to... do something?” he asked vaguely.

“Do what?” Julius asked. “What’s that ‘something’?”

Growing increasingly vexed, he muttered, “You know, um...”

He tilted his head. “What do I know?”

Subaru shut his mouth as he came to a realization. The way Julius’s lips twitched upward made it abundantly clear that he  _ knew _ . The fucking bastard, he knew!

A chuckle finally broke out of the man’s mouth, having watched Subaru’s jaw drop. Affronted, he finally summoned the nerve to seize his sleeve, drag him to the nearest empty room, and slam the door shut. 

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” he accused. “Why didn’t you just come out and say it?”

The purple haired man replied almost flippantly. “Hm? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Tossing his bangs upward in a way he must’ve thought was cool, Julius appeared to be smothering a well-hidden grin. 

Subaru wanted to whack him, difference in strength be damned.

“However,” Julius began, leaning in close and making Subaru’s heart jump. “I’m quite sure about what you’re requesting right now.”

With the man now filling his entire view, he stared with wide eyes, not daring to blink. A dulled click announced that Julius had locked the door behind Subaru.

He gulped unwittingly and nodded.

At that, Julius reached down and rubbed teasingly at his crotch. Having been on the edge for much of the day, Subaru’s body seemed to anticipate this and his dick grew firm quickly, straining against the restrictive cloth.

Subaru’s breathing became unsteady in anticipation. When the pressure withdrew, he stared at Julius with a slightly deprived look.

Said man appeared to dig through his pockets for a second, then fished out a small bottle.

“H-huh, what’s that?” he asked, confused.

“I’d rather not raid the kitchen every time we do this,” he answered simply. “So I got something to smooth out the process.”

Oh, that made sense. Julius was still looking at him oddly though. It took a second before he realized that they couldn’t start if he still had his pants on, and he fumbled with the waistband, pulling it and his underwear down, exposing himself.

Being observed the whole time made it awkward. It’s not as if he couldn’t walk naked into a bath, but this just felt incredibly embarrassing even with the prior experience.

At his blushing visage, Julius sighed. “I used to think you were shameless, so it’s so strange to see how wrong I was. You can barely look me in the eye.”

“I can’t help how I feel, you know,” he muttered lowly.

Julius raised his palms appeasingly. “That wasn’t an insult. I want you to get used to it, but I can’t deny that seeing you like this stirs me up a bit.”

“Ha? Did you finally acknowledge your inner sadis-” he cut himself off as he felt something warm and slick grab his length and begin to massage it. 

Legs progressively weakening, he felt himself slide to his knees while still pressed chest-first against the door, and Julius kneeled down to match. Subaru almost felt like he was being crushed

He let out a quiet moan as Julius continued to rub up and down. Squelching noises peppered the air every time the purple haired man adjusted his grip, and he felt the inevitable ripple through him minutes later.

Breath catching, white liquid spurted out. Julius withdrew to observe his lover, who sat kneeling, slumped.

“Was it good?” he asked when Subaru regained his bearings.

“...A little,” murmured Subaru, lacking the willpower to glare. Then, Julius licked his fingers, sending an electric jolt of embarrassment through the black haired boy.  _ “Y-you-?” _ he sputtered.

A satisfied smile crossed his face. “Shameless,” he provoked playfully. “Indeed. That isn’t a word that describes you at all.”

Despite Subaru’s current state, a desire to get him back began to stir. “Oh yeah?” he muttered in annoyance.

“Ah, is that a challenge I hear?” he replied carelessly, evidently confident in his judgement.

Internally, Subaru could only think of one way to make Julius eat his words. He reached out a hand and clicked Julius’s belt open, pulling it off his pants with a huff.

The surprise on Julius’s face sent a flicker of smugness through him. Riding the high, it was enough to motivate Subaru to pull his underwear down, revealing his semi-erect length hanging in front of his face. The full realization of what he was going to do hit him like a truck.

Seeing him quail, the purple haired man stroked Subaru’s fringe with his clean hand. “My love, you don’t have to do it if you don’t wish to. Forcing it is the last thing I’d want.”

Thankfully, the hesitation didn’t stop Subaru from drawing closer to his dick. Curiously, he ran a finger down it and poked the underside of the head. Julius almost seemed to shudder. 

Noticing that, Subaru’s eyes widened and his cheeks pinked, having found his resolve to take the plunge.

Deliberately, he took the tip into his mouth, letting his tongue explore the natural dips and curves of the surface. He traced the edge of its head in a circle, and after a second, decided to push further. 

A few more inches in. He began to move his head back and forth, careful not to let his teeth graze it. There was no imagination at play when Subaru felt it gradually expand in his mouth.

For the first time, Subaru was acutely aware of every noise Julius made. Every half aborted moan and the increasingly noticeable breaths riled Subaru up in a way he never expected. Even the tightening grip on his hair didn’t bother him at all. In fact, the knowledge that Julius felt good enough to forget about that gave him an odd rush of triumph, considering how careful the other man usually was about not hurting him. Usually.

Feeling it in his mouth was quite different from taking it the other way, he noted. The texture against his tongue and even the scent of it definitely wouldn’t leave his mind soon. Thus, it was a highly unpleasant surprise for his gag reflex to kick in.

Having accidentally pushed it a bit far, Subaru suddenly choked and backed off, saliva dripping down his chin.

Julius heard the coughing and snapped back to earth. 

“Subaru, are you alright?” he asked, grabbing his shoulders and steadying him. 

It took a moment for the fit to dissipate, but when he did, it didn’t take long for him to turn more red than ever.

_ I fucked up! Damn it, I’m never gonna to live this down, _ he thought dramatically. He couldn’t help it, though, especially not with Julius staring into his eyes, so close that they could feel each other exhale.

“Hm, maybe I should’ve turned this down,” Julius said more to himself than Subaru. “Do you want to stop?”

Subaru almost puffed his cheeks in frustration. He’d practically been rutting after the guy the whole day even if he would never admit it out loud. Did the man really think he’d want to end it here? These thoughts took the form of an immediate “No way.”

Oddly, Julius seemed surprised at the swiftness of the answer. Still a bit ruffled himself, he nodded obligingly and reached for the bottle. 

The man’s dick was still glossy from Subaru’s spit, he noted with a non-insignificant amount of embarrassment, but that wasn’t nearly enough lubrication. It’s not like he could take the whole thing at once anyway.

There was a cold chill from the liquid Julius smeared on his hole. He tensed as a finger rested there for a moment, then pushed its way in. Slowly, he worked a few more inside over the course of minutes, gradually stretching him open. 

It was a repeat of last time, but he wasn’t complaining. Especially not when those fingers massaged his prostate, making him curl his toes and tremble. He still stifled the mortifying noises, even though he knew they would come out even louder later. He’d hold on for as long as he could.

Julius pressed down intently, and a violent shiver zipped up his spine. Then, the fingers pulled out.

The seconds of anticipation were unbearable. Waiting there with his forearms against the wall and on his knees, he must’ve looked like a mess. Damn, was he really this desperate?

Judging by the way his heart shook when Julius’s dick  _ finally _ pressed its way in, yes. Yes he was.

The friction as Julius rocked his hips forward made him groan alongside Julius, who also needed to get used to the sensation. Subaru took some satisfaction in that.

As expected, he began on easy mode. Though if you’re the one taking it, there was hardly an easy mode. Just having it inside was already a lot.

Regardless, the sedate pace gave him the much needed time to loosen up and enjoy what was to come.

Subaru felt Julius trace a hand down his back, then leaned in to pinch a nipple hard enough that he jerked in place. It was just a brief shock of intensity. As the man picked up speed, he continued to play with them and occasionally give a sharp squeeze.

He had squeezed his eyes shut in pleasure, but they flew open after a particularly hard thrust. At this point tears began to bead noticeably in the corner of his eyes, but it wasn’t as if Julius was going to see considering that Subaru was turned away from him. Plus, he could barely keep his head up.

With little warning, Julius grabbed his waist and squeezed their hips as close as possible, grinding in deep and wrestling a strangled cry from Subaru’s throat. His rocketing heart rate seemed to stop in place for a moment. Then, it resumed beating twice as overworked as he continued on thrusting into him with no break.

A small puddle of Subaru’s saliva had dribbled onto the ground, alongside what dripped off his own oozing dick. There was little time to recover. One hand dropped to the ground, too weak to remain in place. 

“J-ju-li-us,” he stuttered in between thrusts. “Y-you’re...go-ing... _ too fast!” _

The pace slowed immediately, granting Subaru a desperately needed reprieve to catch his breath and relax.

Then, to his surprise, Julius suddenly lifted a dazed Subaru with his arms, and he yelped as he found his back on the cold wall as the purple haired man continued to pound into him.

Things were no easier this way. In place of speed was the firm grip Julius’s hands on his ass, locking him in place.

“You’re… such a bastard, you know that?” he gasped out, staring at him with lust tinged annoyance.

Julius flipped some hair out of his (faintly sweating) face, smiling somewhat. “A knight’s code of chivalry imparts in me a duty to serve.”

“Bastard,” he repeated.

Once again, Subaru found himself between a rock and a hard place, almost literally. With the closing distance between the wall and Julius, he barely had room for his chin to drop weakly to his chest, fighting fruitlessly to keep his head perfectly upright. Occasionally he lifted it to the side when a particularly large wave of pleasure struck.

Julius, on his side, hardly looked the way he’d usually present himself to the world. His hair had formed clustered strands of damp hair. The normally immaculate coat over his shoulders hung wrinkled at the corners. His cheeks were visibly warm as he panted hotly. It was a noticeable sign that he was going down harder on Subaru than last time. 

Julius stole another kiss, this time pushing Subaru’s head against the wall. They quickly broke apart though. Both were short on breath. Though brief, it made the black haired man stare back with an intoxicated gaze, one that the other easily reciprocated.

Something milky white beaded on the tip of Subaru’s length as Julius thrusted into him. With nothing else to hold on to, Subaru reflexively clutched onto him as hot tears formed in the corners of his eyes, moaning. At this point, he could feel an inevitable orgasm approaching, and rested his head in the nook between Julius’s neck and shoulder, hiding his face.

Full-body contractions ripped through Subaru, turning him into a shuddering mess that clung desperately onto fistfuls of white cloth. The tears rolled freely down his cheeks.

Subaru’s clouded mind barely processed that Julius’s stiff length began to throb inside him. The man displayed sudden stillness, and just as quickly, he slipped it out and cum shot out in bursts, some onto himself, but mostly on Subaru.

The two slid down the wall in a heap, with the black haired boy limply straddling his sloppily kneeling lap. If it were not for the wall, he would’ve immediately toppled onto his back.

Julius recovered first. Noticing a particularly large splatter of cum on Subaru’s face, he wiped it off with the edge of his cape. 

The action caught a flicker of the boy’s attention, and he stared on with blatant affection and vulnerability in his eyes. It was a rare show of honesty that he didn’t even realize he was making. Indulgently, Julius drank it in for a few seconds before breaking the news.

“We’re going to have to clean this up,” the man deadpanned.

Subaru, still recovering, blinked out of it and groaned, “You can’t be serious. This is one of the furthest wings from a bathroom.”

“... I feel bad pestering Kua about this,” he responded, having realized the indignity of scurrying across the hall in this state. “I hope we don’t have a repeat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell my brain is in “all horny, no productivity mode”
> 
> Ok, i almost didn’t finish this chapter because i got sidetracked by a tortoise in tupperware in a fridge and i got so distracted i forgot to be horny. as a side note, I have freed myself from not using the word dick in my beautiful, elaborate writing.


End file.
